Good Morning

Another day and the start of another week. I'm feeling better than I was last night, so no worries. Avery's arm did bruise, but she is happy this morning and is dancing and playing with her Elmo doll. She is getting very excited for her birthday party. I'll show you our progress with her castle. Today will be better than yesterday. I can already feel it.

Phone calls, letters, distractions, and Avery's party

So I thought I should update again since it's been a while. Erik's been gone 19 days. If I'm not directly being spoken to or distracted my heart aches so badly in my chest that it's hard to breathe. The strangest things make me cry. Like today when I was two minutes late handing in my tithing and they asked me to hold onto it until next week since they'd already closed out. Or in the temple visitor's center when the video said "Marriage: You're never too far apart if you're still holding hands." What the freakin' heck was I thinking? How on earth did I think I was strong enough to handle this? I'm not. It hurts so bad. He called yesterday and we got to talk for 9 minutes and 58 seconds. He said it was probably the only time he would get to call. I got a letter from him on Thursday. He really needs prayers. I've been writing him every day and he says that he's probably gotten the most mail out of everyone there. My friends are being really great and helping keep me distracted, especially the Denneys, Striegels, and Johnsons. I just hate being over there so much because I know I'm seriously encroaching on their family time, and it's not fair to them and I really don't want to be a burden. I couldn't bring myself to go to church today because I couldn't handle sitting there alone again. I went at around 11:20 to hand in my tithing since I knew that the Bishopric would still be there but the rest of the people from my ward would already be gone. Poor Avery fell off the bed tonight while we were getting her ready for bed and she raked her arm along the side of her garbage can and has this long strawberry from about mid-forearm to about mid-bicep. At least part of it is going to bruise. After I put bandaids on and kissed it better we laid in her bed and looked at pictures of me from when I was a baby. I looked a lot like she does now. That really distracted her from her arm. Then we said our prayers, read a story that kept jumping out of my hands (another way to make her laugh), sang popcorn popping, had kisses and hugs (and an extra glass of milk), and she was off to sleep. It's the nights that are the hardest. I always try to think up excuses to avoid going to bed so i don't have to lay there alone. Last night, after going to bed way too late, I dreamed that these animated angels were pointing bows and arrows at me, my brother, his fiancé, and Avery. We were surrounded by stone walls behind us and on both our sides, and I had Avery sheilded behind me, but I didn't worry at first because I thought vaguely about how it was like a movie and someone would come in to save us. But then the first arrows started shooting past my head and I was blasted by the shockwave from the force behind them as they flew past me, and felt the stone wall behind me shattering as the arrows struck and buried deep into them. I screamed in helpless terror as they came closer and closer to my head and was struck with the startling revelation that no one was coming to save us. Then my alarm clock woke me. That should have been a huge sign to me that said, "Get up and go to church" but I wasn't ready to face another day. So I fell asleep again and woke when Avery came in at 8. I took a shower, bathed Avery, and thought we'd make it for Sunday School and Relief Society, but that's when I really felt like I couldn't take it. One Tree Hill and the Gilmore Girls proved pretty good distractions for a while, but they weren't the spiritual uplift that I needed in order to get through the rest of the day. Or week. Singing hymns helped as I was getting Avery ready for bed. I need to read scriptures though. Tomorrow will be a good distraction. We're building a cardboard castle out of refrigerator boxes for Avery's birthday party on Thursday. Planning her party is fun because I'm thinking about her and less about me and Erik, plus it gives me something to look forward to that's closer than April 30th. Reading back through I realize just how depressing all this is, and I'm really considering not posting it, but I've spent so much time typing it that it would feel like a waste if I didn't. Oh well. Whoever reads this, don't worry about me. Most days are better than this one, and all of them are making me stronger. Just say a quick prayer for Erik, Avery, and me, and we'll be just fine.

Amy

Wow, only a year later ...

So it's way late and I should be getting to bed, but I'm going to quickly post anyway. I've felt the need to blog again for quite a while and I don't really have any excuse not to. For those of you who don't know, Erik's in Basic Military Training (BMT) for the Air Force in San Antonio, Texas. He left on March 2nd and will be there through April. 8.5 weeks apart is no fun, and the longest we've ever had to be apart. ... And we're not even a week into it yet. :( This past week has been hard, but it feels like it's starting to get a little easier. Church helped on Sunday, as did getting an email from the service missionaries who met Erik yesterday. They sent a picture.

Seeing him smiling has helped put my mind at ease. Also, Aves and I got our first letter from him today, so that's helped a ton too! Actually, it was an already printed out message on a post card telling us that he had arrived and giving us his address, but it was something, and that's what's important. I feel like such a whiner because I get to sit around eating brownies with Avery and hanging out with friends, talking about how hard it is to be away from my sweet husband, and he's away from home, away from me and Avery, in a harsh and hostile environment, without any way to contact anyone for comfort. He and his group have to "earn" the right to write to their families before he can even send a letter. A-holes. I hate the thought of the TI's being so horrible to him. But he's strong and I know he can do this. Avery really misses him but she's doing well. We have videos of Erik reading stories to her that we've incorporated into our bedtime routine, and every night she tells the video, "Goo-night, Dad! I wuv you!" Her 3rd birthday is coming up and I'm not sure what we're going to do. She wants to have a princess tea party but all but one of her girl friends have moved to Utah. It wouldn't be very nice to invite all her little boy friends to a princess tea party. ... Oh well. We'll figure something out. I'm tired of complaining. I feel like I'm bringing everyone down. I really really miss Erik, but I'll get through and so will he. And soon we'll be back together again and more in love than ever. :) I guess if I keep telling myself that the time will go faster. Here's to hoping time flies, and to hoping I update more often! - Amy


P.S. - This is a picture of Aves at Christmas. She wanted to make sure we saw that her Cinderella doll was actually her, because she was Cinderella for Halloween. That's Erik holding up a picture of her from Halloween. So, according to Aves, that's 3 Averys in one picture. I love my little girl.

Birthday's, Running, Denver, and CHRISTIE!!!

So there have been some awesome developments since I last wrote. We're getting ready for Avery's birthday and we're planning on inviting her 3 closest friends over for a little party. (We don't want to overwhelm her with too many people). We're having fun planning the little games and getting the little party favors. I think she and the other kids are going to like it. :) I can't believe she's going to be two years old. It blows my mind. Her birthday is on Erik's and my 3rd anniversary. It's so awesome to think that we've been married for 3 years! I can honestly say that they've been the best 3 years of my life. I'm so fortunate to have such a wonderful man.

I went running this morning with my friend Sandra. It kicked my butt.

Erik's getting ready to have an awesome adventure. He's going to the national TESOL conference in Denver in a couple of weeks. He leaves on the 23rd and gets back on the 29th (I believe - I'm having a hard time thinking ... and lifting a water bottle for that matter. Running really kicked my butt.) I'm going to miss him so much but I'm excited that he gets to be there.

We have another important development. Christie is coming to Hawaii for her spring break!!! I never really thought I would get a visitor while living in Hawaii. I always tease (and probably annoy) my family by asking, "When are you coming to visit?" or talking about, "Well when you come to Hawaii ..." but I never thought it would actually happen! She's going to be here the 22nd - April 2nd. Oh my gosh, I am so excited! I get to see my sister and she gets to see Hawaii!! And she gets to be here for Avery's birthday! I am so excited. My life is awesome.

Behind in classes

I have to play some serious catch up in my classes today and tomorrow. I have one paper in my Early Modern European class that was due on Friday and I have at least 3 pages of book notes to write on a book I haven't even started yet. The book notes are due tomorrow afternoon. So I'd better get to reading. But first I just wanted to write a quick update. A pipe or something broke in the apartment above ours so our ceiling, wall, and carpet got all wet and mildewy. Thankfully we found the leak before it ruined too much of our stuff. We had to move everything away from the area so now we have all our luggage and boxes of stuff being stored in our living room. :/ It makes for a very cluttered room, especially after Avery's toys get scattered too. Maintenance fixed the pipe for now but all they did for us was give us fans to dry the mildewy carpet. It's dry, but it smells disgusting still and I'm worried it's going to get us sick. I'm going to complain on Monday. Avery is doing so well with potty training. She wears Sesame Street panties during the day and only wears a diaper when she takes a nap and overnight. She's so good.
Last night was foodfest. We didn't want to spend a ton of money there so I made chicken enchiladas. We ate those for dinner then went to foodfest and had dessert. It was fun. Avery really liked jumping in the Elmo's World bouncy room. Erik and the TESOL Society did really well selling cotton candy. They used up and sold 30 lbs of sugar in one night. Crazy. :)
Oh, Avery can open our front door now. And she loves her friends. She talks about Corban, Lilia, and Breea all the time. Yesterday she was pretending to talk on my cell phone and I asked her who she was talking to. She the phone away from her mouth long enough to tell me, "I talking Nana." (Nana is my mom). She's such a sweet, smart, wonderful girl. If she feels that she's suffered an injustice she will tell me and Erik, "Mommy, Daddy, timeout." She did that on Friday because we accidentally forgot her shoes at home so we wouldn't let her walk around Ala Moana Mall barefoot. She wasn't too upset about us carrying her, but when we got into the car she pointed her little finger at us and said, "Mommy, Daddy, timeout. No Avery walking. Timeout." She's so smart. Well, I'd better get to reading. :)

Happy

I was walking home from class this afternoon when I saw Avery bolt across the sidewalk with Erik playfully chasing her. When he caught her he lifted her up and she reached up and touched the leaves in the trees above them. I made a mental recording of it and commanded my brain, "Remember this." They were so cute.
So in one of my classes we're studying the Vietnam War and we've been watching this documentary from National Geographic - emphasis on the graphic. Parts of it are really disturbing. I've noticed more and more this semester that a huge portion of history is made up of horrible events of cruelty and carnage. I learned about a city, Munster, Germany, that was taken over by a group called Anabaptists (a group that believed that babies and children should not be baptized, but wait until they are adults when they can understand the importance of their decision) during the Reformation. The Holy Roman Emperor deployed forces and the 20 leaders that took over the town were forced into a cage that was hung from the town cathedral, where they slowly starved to death in front of the townspeople. It is believed that the cage and their bones hung from the cathedral until the time of the French Revolution, as a lesson to everyone else. Messed. Up.
It's times like these when I am so grateful that I and my loved ones do not have to live in constant fear of things like war or persecution. In terms of historical probability - living where we do in this time is like winning the lottery. We are very fortunate.

I've already fallen off the wagon with my New Year's goals but today is the day to try again. It's been more than a week since my last posting and I've gotten behind in the reading for my classes. So on the agenda for today (beside's Avery's doctor's appointment at 4), are this quick post and a buttload of reading. :)
Avery learned this really cute thing from Joey where she will just exclaim, "I goh-ween!" (I'm growing!) Then she'll stretch her arms up high and smile big to illustrate the point. It melts my heart every time. She also counted all the way to ten last night! twice! She's so smart. She loves the little mermaid and all things "Pwincess!" related. I think for our home evening activity tonight we're going to make homemade playdough. (She loves cooking in the kitchen with me so I think this'll be a fun thing to do together.) Oh, speaking of cooking, the other morning we were making pancakes together (she was standing on a chair next to the counter) and I turned away for a minute to wash a dish. I turned back and she was using the wire wisk to mix black pepper into our pancake batter! She looked up with a big smile and exclaimed, "I cooookeen!" (I'm cooking!) I couldn't help but laugh as I mixed a different bowl of batter. She got to play cook with her batter and I made breakfast with the new, un-peppered batter.
Last Monday we went to Temple Beach to walk on the beach and play in the sand, but the waves scared Avery (they're a lot bigger this time of year). So we decided to go to Shark's Cove on Saturday because there are no waves inside the cove to scare her. We packed a picnic lunch (complete with SPAM Masubi - yummy), then played in the water for a little while. We had a good time. Avery kept yelling, "I sim-een!" (I'm swimming!) while I was helping her kick her way across the water.
Little Miss has had a cold since Thursday of last week but I think it's starting to get better. She wasn't sleeping very will those first few days of it, but last night she slept ALL NIGHT in her crib. That's the first time she's ever done that. I was stunned when I woke up in the morning because normally I'm up with her at least twice each night. I've been trying to teach her how to self soothe when she wakes up at night, but if she stands up in her crib and calls for me then I bring her into Erik's and my bed. I've very proud of her. Well, it's Avery's nap time and I have a lot to do, but I'll keep updating! :)
Oh, and School of Education applications are due by February, so I've got to get working on that too! Erik's already a good part of the way through his.